this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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