Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
