big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
