I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
