I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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