do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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