like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I supernannyed him into submission
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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