new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
