just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
