im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
