My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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