found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
