K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
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