The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
