I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
