I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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