I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
