I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
