I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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