we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
The ass gains better be worth it
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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