I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
