escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize