just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
