if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
My breasts were aching with rage.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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