Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
