You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
