i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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