I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
