On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
