you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
