The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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