I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
