I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
