She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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