Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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