dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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