i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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