He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
