Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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