***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
