we have pet lesbian snakes
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
