what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
