That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
