Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
