try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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