So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
she pinky promised me she was 18
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
