I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
