areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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