whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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