I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
