Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
