I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize