hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
