I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize