Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
