Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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