at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
