I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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