Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
