I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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