You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
