what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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