You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
