just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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