So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
